Speaking Out Against Abuse
Brenda Ngxoli Cwecwe has taken a courageous step by sharing her painful experience, urging others to break the silence on domestic violence. In a heartbreaking confession, she revealed the horrors she endured at the hands of the father of her child.
“This is the father of my child. He was not like this when I met him. If anything happens to me, he must NEVER TAKE MY CHILD! I have a protection order against him,” she stated.
At first, everything seemed normal, but over time, she noticed disturbing changes in his behavior. His addiction to cough mixture mixed with Fanta Grape led to aggressive outbursts. His violence escalated into regular beatings, strangulation, and verbal abuse. “Side ufe ndizokonwaba,” he would say while attacking her—words that translate to, “If you die, I will be happy.”
A Life of Fear and Control
Despite being the father of her child, Samphiwa had never seen or met their baby. Brenda had taken legal precautions by securing a protection order against him. Yet, the abuse continued.
“I was beaten, starved, and locked up. He would tell me, ‘Yide Ufe Ndizokonwaba.’”
Her life was consumed by fear. She wasn’t just physically abused—she was financially exploited as well. Outside, he presented himself as a perfect gentleman, opening doors and acting polite. But behind closed doors, he was a monster. He drained her bank accounts, leaving her in R200,000 debt, a reality she only discovered after escaping. She had also lost two properties in the process.
The Desperate Struggle to Escape
By January 2022, Brenda found the strength to leave. With the help of her friend Fefe, she managed to escape the abusive relationship. At that point, she no longer had control over her own bank cards.
Despite all the warning signs, she had desperately tried to make the relationship work. She made excuses for his behavior, convinced that external forces were to blame for their problems. She wanted to help him, to “understand” his struggles.
But the truth was far worse—his violence was fueled by substance abuse. At first, she thought his love for cough syrup mixed with Fanta Grape was just a habit. Soon, she realized that every time he drank it, his aggression spiraled out of control.
She had sacrificed everything, spending her entire salary to build a future with him. But instead of a happy life, she was left with trauma and fear.
A New Beginning and a Second Chance
On July 13, 2022, Brenda took an Uber Black to Morningside Clinic at 5 a.m. and gave birth alone. That same day, her child entered the world, a symbol of hope despite the darkness she had endured.
Her friends and colleagues supported her in small but meaningful ways. Ellenore Offori visited her after work, Harriet Gavshon sent flowers, and Netflix even sent gifts. But deep down, she still feared Samphiwa.
Two months later, she reached out to her father, finally revealing that she had a child. Without hesitation, he flew down to see her. Together, they made a decision—after her tax refund, they would return home to Xolobe.
Brenda wanted her child to grow up in a safe and loving environment, far from the pain and suffering she had experienced. Her story is a powerful reminder that many women endure abuse in silence. But by speaking out, she hopes to inspire others to break free, fight for their lives, and never settle for a love that comes with violence.